It has always been my view that everything happens for a reason. So, so, many times, time will turn, and in an unexplained circumstance you realize why that happened. Whatever your feelings were at the time, you realize that there is something greater out there, and it is out of your hands - but eventually there will be an explanation, even if it is not in our own lifetime - the reason still exists. Regardless of when the explanation does surface, though, weaved in and out are lessons to be learned.
One of the hardest things that I ever have to do is when I am called for a Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep session. The hardest part? Being a mother with 4 children of my own, knowing the joy that should be in the rooms I step into. Knowing the feeling that doesn't exist, I experienced 4 times over. Wishing there was something I can say, or do, to take the pain away. Feeling that even though I am doing what I can to give that family a tangible piece of their memories, but all the time wishing there was more I could do. It is a very, very hard place to be, and then even the guilt I feel, knowing that my feelings are nothing compared to the family I am there for.
One of the things that I never anticipated, though, were the lessons. I never realized that each and every family I would meet would teach me something. The families may never know, but the lessons are there- I can recall each and every moment as if it were today. And while we can never explain why their precious little angel was called so soon, I can see why it is that I was called to volunteer for this organization.
Only from my experiences have I come to realize the true strength of a family bond. I have seen it with my own eyes. How one child can take the supporting role of the anchor in a family- as I watched in amazement. How children can be so perceptive beyond their years - sometimes the quiet ones know more than we realize. How you never know that a regular day in your eyes could be the happiest day for another, only by your actions. How a family that seems ordinary in their own eyes can be the biggest inspiration in your own.
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